the devil looks after his own

if i could i would love to believe in god as all the christian people do. i do believe in god, but i don’t think he really cares that much. you are right: he is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent; he just doesn’t care enough. that’s the catch. that’s harder to manage as a reality. he knows all the shit we go through and yet he decides to not act. scream at the fucksaken sky, he’s not answering. he’s the master at ghosting you, he faked his death. he left the party centuries ago. it leaves us without a route, a purpose.

i do not have a purpose. i have no use for this world. the world does not owe me shit and i do not owe it shit either. i will disturb some people with my little gloomy life, i’ll die and then no one would remember me after a few years. that’s my comfort, the idea of being disposable makes me free. god left us free, and yet we keep on calling sky daddy at 3 am when things go to shit. we still celebrate his birthday. we have his churches and we give them money out of fear. give homeless people one of the many houses that god abandoned when he died. give them the churches.

grow up.

we believe and trust people that claim to know him and his plans. we still think virginity is a thing. we are lost, but it’s our fault.

if god ever talks to me, i hope he tells me this is just a joke.

i will laugh with the devil next to me.

happy birthday, i guess.